So close yet so far….

26835CD2-EEF0-4477-A20B-9DF2DD15DF77.jpegWhat a piggin’ start to this week! I had a midwife appointment on Tuesday, haven’t seen her in a while and first thing she said was that I was her only one to see today as one had gone into labour this morning and the other has just delivered! I joked and said ‘Let’s make it a hat trick then! Hopefully me soon!’ So then we were having a good natter about the wedding as my Midwife’s daughter is getting married soon also- chin wagging away whilst she did my blood pressure, urine sample and growth check, (baby is engaged too) which were all absolutely fine and then she went to listen to baby’s heartbeat when it was between 166-180bpm!! It’s only meant to be between 110-160bpm so she said she’d have to send me into hospital for a proper monitor! I asked her what was going to happen worst case scenario and she said they would probably either induce me or potential c section….Then she’s asking me if I’m 100% sure my waters haven’t gone so of course I’m starting to panic! My face went bright red because I’m hot and anxious! She’s on the phone to Triage whilst I’m texting Mark at home who was minding the 3 kids we had in, telling him to ring all the parents ASAP as we had to go to hospital so this is what the messages looked like…. 😂😂😂

26C46511-97CF-468D-B0FC-EEAD8E3C2CD5.png

I raced (as fast as my prego body will get me lol) my way back home, on phone to my mum one hand, inhaler in the other as I couldn’t get my breath! Trying to tell her what’s going on then thought I had to let my dad know as his friend was dropping something off at mine….to get home to a panicky Mark who’s bombarding me with every question you can think of so I’m telling him everything, all parents were on route, he’s running round grabbing all my bags and putting them in the car…😂😂😂 Luckily I suppose I am well organised! We managed to get to the hospital 40 minutes later where we just had to wait a bit for a bed and then I was straight in and all monitored up! I then spent 40 minutes on the monitor watching her heartbeat go from 110 up to 180bpm in seconds and why?! Because she’s so pissing active!!!! Apparently all completely normal! When she’s all nice and calm her heart is 136bpm but yes, she likes to practice her martial arts haha!! Even the midwives were saying they couldn’t believe how active she is and that she’s going to be an Olympic gold medalist! 😂😂😂 Oh and they all felt incredibly sorry for me and said how hard it must be! Anyway, they were happy enough for us to go home so then it was letting everybody know that the baby was just having a rave. 🙄 So typical of my child, wouldn’t it be!! Anyway a Burger King and a nap made me feel better- until later on I had some spaghetti and a magnum and threw the entire contents up in the bathroom sink. 😩 That’s been the WORST sickness so far! I had to send Mark to the shop to get me a Fanta as I literally couldn’t drink anything else! Oh and to top it off- I have what is the world’s largest haemorrhoid EVER sticking out!! I wouldn’t even mind but I’ve not even been to the toilet!!!! My arsehole is literally on fucking fire and I’m struggling to even sit down!!! I’ve been using coconut oil and Epsom salts in warm baths and wiping my arse with witch hazel wipes and I had to try and shove the fucking thing back in!!! But no, it’s just been coming straight back out!! Honestly I can’t tell you how fucking painful it is!!! I’ve been struggling that much with it that I’ve had to even try metanium on it! I don’t care how big it is as long as it’s not hurting!!! I’m sure otherwise this is going to make child birth a whole lot more fun! 🙌🏼🙌🏼 Oh but just a word of wisdom to any fellow sufferers of these bastard things…..METANIUM!!! It’s 100% helped the pain!

Oh and to top it off, I can’t sleep due to my arse hurting or being sick and neighbours were screaming, ‘Fucking move it’ at 5am this morning?!?! Honestly no consideration for anyone this fucking road!!! Luckily all my loud ones will be pissing off soon as one household fuck off in their caravan wherever for the 6 weeks half term and the neighbour next door obviously passed a few weeks ago and the family have now emptied it out so that’s good! I’ve had a disaster time with parcels: I ordered us new bedding, (I have a weird thing for bedding?) which delayed my order and then got an email to say it had sold out. 🙄 Then I bought a dress like 7 weeks ago on Depop and the bitch proper stringed me along with the whole, ‘I’ve posted it’, bullshit. She hadn’t so of course you ask for a refund and you get ignored so I’ve had to open a case on PayPal….Oh and I asked my dad if he could get me a new microwave as ours has broke and I’ve bought baby a microwave steriliser so obviously, I need one ASAP! He’d ordered it on Sunday last week and they still hadn’t dispatched it by Thursday so he had to cancel it and I had to order one with Amazon so luckily it came yesterday……Honestly!! Looking forward to cracking open that vodka let me tell you!!!! Bottle for her, bottle for me! 😂😂 

So yes I’m hot, swollen, sick, haemorrhoided up to my eyeballs and in pain oh, and I’m carrying an Olympic demon who is fighting to come through my stomach instead of my cervix!! Send help! 

Give me a break!

5E237BD0-7BB6-487F-AD8B-D5BB197E8727 I’m laying it out there this blog post- and I don’t give two shits. I’ve done nothing but try and be a decent human being. I’ve never hurt anyone’s feelings, I’ve always put others before myself, I work hard, I’m not nasty nor vindictive…..yet I cannot actually believe how many people have shit on me- not just in general, but in this 37 weeks alone!!!! Is it not enough that I’ve felt like shit everyday this entire time without being taken on by literally everyone and everything!!!! Enough is enough now- I’m literally at breaking point!! I don’t care if I’m about to sound ‘unprofessional’ right now either, I couldn’t give a fuck….. I  spent years not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I was bullied all the way through school, I left with barely any qualifications and I started college with no motivation to do anything because I just didn’t know what to do with my life! I did beauty, hated it. Tried hairdressing, hated it. Went for jobs instead and even though I did them, I hated them. I got into working with children and I love it because no day is the same and your always busy- plus it’s very fun and rewarding! I’m really good at my job too, I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about that- example, after 3 months at my first nursery, I was made Deputy Manager. Your going to ruffle feathers and everyone works differently. I’m not Mary Poppins believe me!!! But I pretty much ran that nursery on my own. Let me tell you, working with children- it’s one difficult job! It’s extremely stressful at times, it’s extremely exhausting and you put yourself at risk every single day. There’s a lot of liability behind it. I worked my arse off to be qualified and knew one day I wanted to do it for myself so I took that plunge 2 years ago. Business was absolutely booming, Marks job was going to pot so he jumped on board with me and we both absolutely love it…. however since being pregnant, I’ve lost quite a bit of business, 2 of which have left me this week which really upsets me. We have only taken days off for our scans/appointments together which have only been about 3/4 days I think, we had a week booked off in June which was a holiday, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post and I had 2 days off when I was in Triage poorly. So let’s say I’ve had 10 days off- most with 4 weeks notice in 7 months… I know I can’t tell people an exact date she’s coming and I totally understand that people have to arrange alternative arrangements but it’s the way again to which everything has been handled by other people! Let me tell you, being self-employed is great in a lot of ways, but it’s also absolutely shit. Some people think because you work with children, you’re thick as shit and all you get to do all day is ‘play’ which yes, we do have a lot of fun but actually, I have to run a business as well!! I  do mountains of paperwork: accounts, risk assessments, development checks etc as well as care for children of all ages, cook, clean, give advice to people etc. It’s hard work!! Everyone who comes in says, ‘I couldn’t do your job’….not a lot of people could, let me tell you! It just really upsets and deflates me that I love all the kids I care for like they are my own. I try my utter best, every day to make sure they are all safe, happy, clean and they are having fun and yet I have been treated poorly  by some parents! Most have been amazing at this time though and I’m extremely grateful! The worst part is that this all happens in my own home! There is no escape for me! Like I said, I wanted to do this and I do love it- but when people drop you in it last minute and with a baby on the way…I just don’t need the stress! 😩 All I feel like doing is giving up right now and crying about it, but I can’t and trust me, I don’t intend on doing- it’s just been yet another hard week and I just don’t know how to keep getting through! Sorry but I am only human and no one is ever 100% happy in their job- we all have good/bad days! 

Not only work related but obviously I think people established in my ‘week from hell’ post that I’ve lost friends too. My two ‘best friends’ of ten years which has resolved in my hen do being cancelled as well as wedding invites being torn up and bridesmaids dresses being sold….. So seriously, I know people find out who their true friends are pregnant but losing all this shit and receiving shit after shit each week?! Surely can’t be normal at all!! Maybe this is why I’ve had such a bad pregnancy! I’ve just not had any time to relax and try to enjoy it because of all this added stress and shit! Now you probably understand why I cannot do this ever again!! The only things that have kept me going is the baby and Mark. She’s stopped me losing my shit and Mark’s supported me this whole time! All it’s made us now is stronger and absolutely unbreakable. I swear if I didn’t have this baby and him and all this shit happened- I really don’t think I’d be here! Sorry for this long, depressing post but I’m not ashamed to talk about my feelings. I literally am struggling and I’ve been really down this week! I just want to thank all my true friends for being there for me. Even a simple call or message from you means a lot!! Seriously the baby needs to come soon so I can have a vodka! 🤪 I currently feel as shit as I did right back at the start of this pregnancy- if not worse!! I’m constantly feel sick- really vomiting at times, I’m boiling hot all the time to the point where I feel like I could pass out! I think I’m getting carpel tunnel in my hands because of how badly they are swelling and how sore they are- I feel like I’ve put my hand on a hob and I have burnt myself- almost like a prickly heat sensation! I’m tired all the time, I’m literally waking up every hour in the night and I’m soaking wet and just can’t get back off! Then around 2pm, I’m knackered and have to have a nap. Then usually wake up feeling worse!!! My skin on my shoulders is peeling and feels like dermatitis just because of how dry it is- no amount of moisturiser or coconut oil is helping and my hair is still snapping away……I’m just so drained and in so desperate need of a break. This was why I was looking forward to my hen do- which has obviously ended up getting cancelled. So il have to wait until January for the wedding! 

Please someone, can I have a break or can someone just come and deposit a large amount money in my account! 😂😂😂 I know everything will work out, as I’ve said before, I’m a massive believer in fate and I’m sure that all this bad stuff was meant to happen before my baby arrives! I just want a fresh start!

Sore & Sick

A7FBE873-076E-459C-A785-080BA6EFB5D1.jpeg

This week has been the biggest struggle physically ever!!! I literally cannot stop being sick or feeling sick!!! Acid reflux is awful and I saw my midwife on Tuesday who told me to see the GP to which they prescribed me Gaviscon which I told them- it doesn’t work!!!!!! I tried phoning and phoning to make an appointment but no luck what so ever so I’ve just been going along with it! I’ve got less than 4 weeks to go and the worse I feel- the more I couldn’t give a fuck about labour! 😂😂 Which actually brings me to a mini rant……..I don’t know why people are trying to tell me their labour horror stories now.  I’m not stupid, I know it’s going to be horrendous but she’s got to come out whatever and honestly, I cannot wait because all these shitty symptoms will be gone! Just let me get on with it, I’ve made no plans for birth as all I want is her out! 😂😂 There is no point making a fucking birth plan because anything could literally happen- I might even need an emergency caesarean! All I said last time was that I want music on, which my labour room has a docking station so that’s not impossible. I’ve made a playlist of songs that have got me through shit times before and it will take Mark less than a minute to do that for me! Oh and I want all the pain relief I can get haha! Fuck all the natural birth shit, I’m really not bothered. If I can get high as shit from gas and air, Diamorphine and have an epidural whilst pushing her out to David Bowie, then so be it! 😂😂😂 I think that’s fair enough! I’ve never imagined what I’d be like at doing this as I was never expecting it to happen!! So there we are- my diva demand is I have music on. I hope the midwife’s like Lady Gaga….. 

The midwife I did see on Tuesday was lovely though! Told her how hard and stressful it’s been and she asked me if I’m still working and I said I was but taking it easy! She ended up feeling really sorry for me and gave me a massive hug haha!! It’s nice to feel appreciated by others sometimes! She doesn’t seem to think il be long and said the baby definitely isn’t going to be a 3 pounder lol! I know these things can never be accurate before someone starts lol but seriously I am huge! Me and mark are both tall and I was a big baby! Mark wasn’t but I think she will be like me! Other than that things have been pretty quiet! I’ve mainly been at home apart from bobbing out for food because I’ve been feeling like shit! I did far too much last weekend as we went to view the house we’re looking at buying then decided to go Cheshire Oaks, which by the way, I ate at three different restaurants that day! 😂😂 But when we got back home, we’d set off flea bombs whilst we were out and de flea’ed both cats so we cleaned the entire house!!! I was fucked!!! I am trying to relax a bit more now and I’m struggling to sleep and even struggling sitting up on the sofa at times! Like I said I technically have less than 4 weeks to go but it could be any day. I read online that apparently only 5% of babies are born on their due date!!! That’s soooo low isn’t it!!! Goes to show though! 

So apart from relaxing, I’ve caught up with friends, got everything I need including milk for the baby now! I’m ordering a meal plan so when I get back home, I can start eating well whilst I’m recovering as Mark can’t cook lol! I’ve got a load of protein samples from Goddess nutrition too as the flavours sound fit! I can just get used to then being back in my own routine as well as get baby in one!! Can’t actually wait to be healthy again! Braving going watching The First Purge today whilst England are playing! Don’t even care- I love the Purge films and I’ve been dying to see this!! Just can’t stop imagining my waters breaking through it though! 😂😂 

F3591276-C02D-4B18-AF08-3C826B6DE3B1.jpeg  Seriously feeling massive now!! 35+3 weeks here. 

Hot and bothered!

A9755A62-3D8D-42D1-AAF8-DC7BEC2C70E8.pngAnother usual week of moaning haha!! Don’t think I’m ever going to be happy until she’s out now!!! Not only has it been ridiculously hot, (normally love the summer but let’s face it, in Britain when it’s this hot it’s shit!) so I’ve not been sleeping because I’m so hot, I’m not really eating because I’m so hot and I can’t get comfortable anyway I try and get comfy because I’m SO HOT!!!! Luckily we have now got an air conditioning unit and WOW! Life changing! 😂 But other than being too hot….the fucking neighbours next door are becoming a real problem. So as you all know, I’m a childminder so I look after children from my house. Doesn’t look good when you drop your child off in the morning and the neighbours are sat in the front garden, (don’t understand why you’d sit at the front of your house, when you have a back garden???? To each their own but!) drinking Carling and Stella from 9am but from 17:00pm onwards, they are pissed and stoned!!! They have had parties blaring music and even sitting out there til 1am talking loud!!! Our bedroom is right above there and we can’t even have the windows open in this heat because of the noise!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also pisses me off as when I walk in my bedroom, it smells like a fucking ashtray!!! Doesn’t look good to people collecting their children off us either! I mean the reason they are all there is because the old lady who lives there is dying?! I’ve never known anything like it. Yet we get told we are ‘inconsiderate’ for parking on OUR driveway because she’s dying?!?! So anyway, I’ve been nagging and nagging Mark to see if we can move! I know it won’t/can’t happen YET but I really don’t want to bring my newborn baby girl back home when it’s like this! So I actually convinced Mark to come look at some show homes for new builds with me and now, he wants to move more than me!! He’s just more Captain sensible whereas I’m like, ‘Fuck it!’ Haha we balance each other out perfectly! That’s our goal after the wedding anyway! Cannot wait. We’re also looking at out of our area, 1) because we both HATE people turning up unexpected. If Mark is out at the gym after work and the door knocks, if I don’t know who it is then it sets my anxiety off. Probably stems from it happening at my old flat as a teen where I let someone in to do a job and we got robbed. Plus I just don’t trust people! So unless I know your coming, I won’t answer the door and then I’ll be on the phone to Mark, panicking as to who it is lol!! 2) I’ve lived here for 28 years and been nothing but shat on by everyone whether it’s people I’ve worked for or ex ‘friends’….I’m at the point where I just can’t be arsed bumping into people I haven’t got time for. I’m not fucking scared of anyone at all and nor am I intimidated by anyone, but I really do hate confrontation and I will avoid it where I can unless I’m really angry or it comes at me unexpectedly. I just don’t want to out with my baby one day and have someone come over that I am not interested in and me lose my shit! I’m done and I just want a fresh start as a married couple, with our child and to start over to give her the best life ever!! I’m not talking about moving to the other side of the world, although I would move to Canada tomorrow if it was possible! But it’s far enough away to not be around dickheads but it’s close enough for my mum to be able to visit everyday if she wanted as I know she will have a very close relationship with our baby! I think after this awful year so far and all the horrible shit that’s been our way, we deserve a break! So if your reading this and your a multi millionaire or your from Canada- give us money to buy the house we’ve seen or get us a Canadian citizenship lol!! 

I was meant to have the midwife on Tuesday too but because I was in Triage on Friday night and they did all the checks and tests I would have had on Tuesday, I was able to push the appointment back! However I did try and get in the dentist the same day as I’ve woken up to my retainer has broke! Grrrrr! Lucky the dentist got me in pretty quick and it’s now fixed without too much movement! The main reason I got these fucking braces was to have perfect teeth for my wedding! Honestly telling you, 1 step forward, 10 fucking back!!! Just annoying as they cost me a lot of money and they were fine shit where I got them- but in all fairness, they looked perfect when I first got them done! Hopefully baby won’t have shit teeth lol! Anyway midwife….I looked at my notes when I was on the phone to her, asking her if I needed to come in due to triage, she just asked me to read my notes and baby is measuring at 5.9 pounds and she’s 34cm! She’s not stopping moving either! ‘Time your movements’….it’s 24/7!!! Even at triage they said they have rarely seen a baby that active!!! You can actually see her from the outside moving! I poke her sometimes as she’s doing it lol and she’s started poking back!!!! Bet she’s like ‘Oh fuck off’ haha! I bet it’s because there is barely any room left in my belly now!!! I’m downing pineapple juice like no tomorrow!! Better start working soon! 😂😂 So she just said she’ll see me at 36 weeks which is next week anyway so it’s been pushed back! Hopefully she’ll be out soon now! I visited my friend whose just had her baby yesterday and omg he’s so cute!! 😍 I just couldn’t help feeling massively jealous though holding her baby when I’m dying to just have mine here!!! Mark was loving it haha! Getting his pre daddy prep on the go!

I don’t think I will be much longer now anyway! It literally could be any day now anyway, so I’m all packed for hospital so I’ve been making a labour playlist on my phone too lol! Thinking of absolutely everything now! 😂😂 She should be a massive music fan anyway as not only do I sing 24/7 lol, (not well I might add!) but she goes bananas when I have music on or I’m singing! Maybe that’s why she’s so active hahhaa!! She’s got not choice but to be a Lady Gaga fan anyway! 

Triage and terror baby!

189E6552-16E0-44D7-91D6-B32A0EBE65C2.pngThree times I’ve had to rewrite parts of this blog. Three lol! So here we go…third time lucky! What a nightmare week. Seriously. I’ve had really low blood pressure and was very ill for a good couple of days,  I’ve been in hospital, I’ve been non stop vomiting, acid reflux is not getting any better, sciatica is getting worse…I’ve seriously had enough now. I’m drained, stressed, tired, fed up and sick of everything to be quite frank! I know all pregnant ladies get fed up towards the end but I’ve felt like this the entire time and now I’m literally at breaking point! I honestly thought it was all coming to an end earlier this week too as I thought my waters broke! First time this week I’ve actually fucking smiled lol!!! But that soon faded when I realised it wasn’t and it was just piss!! I swear to god though, I was adamant at first it couldn’t have been! I basically was dying for a wee, I must go now every minutes of the day…..so went for a wee, stood up and pulled my knickers up then turned to flush the toilet when it just trickled out! It went down my leg and on the floor so I thought, ‘Great! This is it!!’ But yeah sadly not, just more piss that clearly hadn’t come out whilst sat on the loo! Great! Been getting more and more Braxton Hicks and my lower back is really sore now so I’m genuinely hoping I’m not going to be far off. I’m sick of being ill! Honestly back to vomiting and acid reflux is draining me. Main reason for my low blood pressure because I’m dehydrated!! I have to keep drinking loads! I seem to be wanting cans of coke at the moment! It made me feel sick at first- maybe because of the caffeine, but think my body needs a bit of that haha! 

It’s been more the stress which is also taking a massive toll. Every week as your aware, we’ve had some form of shit going on. And I mean that, 34 weeks of pure, solid, shit. I’ve just had enough. I’m really hormonal now- I just want to be on my own with my cats lol! Seriously that’s all I want! People have been so inconsiderate and selfish in regards to me being pregnant. This week for example, we’ve had a spat with the neighbours because they have been parking right over our driveway, blocking our car in. Mark stuck a notice on one of the cars stating that I could go into labour at anytime and we will need to keep the driveway clear due to me needing to get to hospital, which resulting in a neighbour banging on our door telling us to not park on our own drive but in the road if that’s the case!!!!! Honestly never wanted to smack someone in the face so hard in all of my life. I’ve then had several different people saying to me that they hope I have my baby on a certain day as it’s more ‘convenient’ for them! I had one ask me what date we were planning on giving birth so they could book a holiday! I’ve had another saying ‘Can you have a quiet word with baby to come after the 1st July as I get annual leave then’……. honestly let me say, it’s convenient for me that she comes NOW before I kill the next person who comes out with such nonsense! 😂😂😂 HONESTLY!!  I’ve looked after children that have been born at 23 weeks. I know people that have been pregnant for 42 weeks, my sister had my niece at 34 weeks!!! There’s no point in a ‘due date’ in my opinion because it’s whenever the fucking baby chooses lol!!!! Whether me, you, the neighbours fucking goldfish like it! Baby will come when she is good and ready whether I like it or not. She wasn’t planned as everyone knows so it’s just a rollercoaster time and I’m stuck on it until it ends! I think the thing that winds me up so much about it is because everyone knows how ill I have been, how much shit we’ve taken- plus there have been many more things that have gone on which I haven’t even mentioned in this blog!!! I’ve had enough and believe me, I’m looking forward to having a bottle of fucking vodka and a whole packet of fags when she’s out! 😂😂😂 So when people want this to go on longer for me but convenient for them pisses me off. End of.

I’ve been told to rest as much as possible now but I can’t really until she’s out because I still have to work! So hard being self employed at a time like this. Most other women get to finish work now or at least soon- and at least get months off once their baby is here. I certainly won’t get that. Not fair really how I get to look after everyone else’s children and won’t get to really enjoy my own baby for a while but unfortunately it’s my job and I don’t know many other parents that get to work from home together and both raising our child. I just wish I could have a decent break. I think all I need is for baby to come out, a little time off to recover and then a massive holiday! Thank god this will be happening but just want it now!! Honestly it’s a miracle this baby is so healthy because low blood pressure topped with stress….I don’t even want to think about it. This is another reason I want her here safe and sound. Oh and another reason- my friend has just had her little boy the other day!!! We were only 4 weeks apart so now I’ve seen pictures of him- I want to meet her now!!! When your sat in Triage for 6 hours and seeing women going into labour and then seeing and hearing loads of newborn babies…I was just sat there wanting to go in and have her even more!!! 

COME ON BABY!!!!!!!

1DB6A57C-FC71-4A10-AA78-52A1928466EAA very tired and delusional mummy & daddy!

 

 

Oh the glamour…

EA274A21-A716-429D-A9AB-0EBAA31560DFGosh I could have really done with having another week off!! No time off now until our little madam arrives!! I really can’t wait anymore, A) so I’m no longer pregnant and B) so we can meet her!! Everyday we talk about what she’s going to look like and how she’s going to be, etc. I’m getting nervous about labour now though! I think all that talk from the antenatal class has finally caught up with me! Bit bloody late for worrying now though haha!! At least once I’ve done it- I never have to do it ever again!!! It’s funny in a way though how quick it all has actually gone- it feels like a long time at the moment but in reality, it’s quite a short period of time to create a life isn’t it! I had a great week off last week though and weekend was brilliant as got to go to one of my good friends baby shower! She’s 5 weeks ahead of me but her baby boy could be here in the next week! My daughter will already have a good friend there!! I know about another 10 people since who are pregnant now!!! Seems we’ve all been at it around the same time hahaha! Majority of people are having boys that I know so far, I’m the only one having a girl! 

So pregnancy symptoms this week- tiredness, nose bleeds, sciatica, acid reflux, bad back….I’ve also been getting really painful feelings in my belly and downstairs! The other night I had bad period type pain for about an hour and I’ve actually got it a bit this morning! Shooting pains in your bits isn’t pleasant either!! Currently sat here jumping out my skin whilst it’s happening lol! I’ve even had little pains like that in my nipples which fucking hurts! Hope it’s a sign she’s coming sooner rather than later!!! I’ve got a swiss ball now though so I’ve been using that a bit which helps my back a bit and I’m hoping will get little one down a bit more! I can’t believe how tired I’m getting now though, but haven’t been sleeping great, just find everything so uncomfortable and I hate trying to turn over in the night! Acid reflux seems to be really bad at night and for some reason, I’m back to vomiting everywhere when I brush my teeth!! Honest to god I cannot  wait for the day I wake up without feeling like a dragon or being sick! Nose bleeds are probably the worst thing however! I woke up the other morning with it everywhere. The taste of metal from all the iron in my blood as well is disgusting, I feel like I’ve been sucking on a penny! This also makes me feel sick as you can imagine! Hard when people ask you what you want to eat when all you can taste is metal and your chest feels on fire! Sciatica is mainly bad at night too but my back feels worse. That deep freeze gel is pretty good though and helps. Wish it would help my ankle though but just have to try and rest it as much as I can. Oh I’ve also forgot to mention in this blog, bloody baby brain, I’ve also been experiencing mega dry skin and my hair is snapping!! I fucking thought these things were meant to be amazing during pregnancy!!! Not for me at all. Has anyone else experienced this? If so is there anything out there that can help? My skin looks like I’ve been out sunbathing, burnt and now peeling but I haven’t sunbathed once due to me swelling up in the heat! I’m only mainly bothered about my hair to be honest! Don’t really know what to do about it other than get extensions put in afterwards. I’ve never looked after my hair and I’ve dyed it loads during pregnancy but I’ve never seen it snap like this. Anyone would think I’m bleaching it and straightening it everyday but I actually don’t use heat on my hair really and I’ve gone back dark now and it’s since then it’s been snapping which is weird….seriously any advice would be great! 

I’m also going to do something I’ve never done before as well and get down there waxed! I did beauty therapy in college when I was 16 and we had to practice waxing on each other and I would happily let people wax my arms and legs but no one was ever going near that region! However, I can’t reach there properly and I can’t bloody see it! I’ve tried with a mirror but it’s near fucking impossible! Mark attempted to help me the other day but he was too scared he’d cut me haha! I can’t let it get like jumanji- I’d be more mortified having it like a jungle down there than having a shit!!! Sorry but again like I said- all glamour goes out the window when your pregnant. It’s probably all going to go Pete Tong from here on out for a while I’m guessing haha! I am however getting him to shave my legs later as they are awful too! Honestly I even looked at a pregnancy razor…fab idea but £25!!!! Fuck that, haven’t got much longer to go! They don’t half put the prices up on shit when it’s ‘maternity’, ‘baby’, ‘wedding’…..crafty fuckers! Like I said too, the maternity is only a short period of time so there’s no point in buying into shit. Babies aren’t babies forever- that also goes extremely fast so what’s the point in spending £1000’s on shit that you probably won’t use or will use for 5 minutes! And a bloody wedding is only one day!! I can’t believe all the stress it actually causes beforehand!!! 

So if you have money, please launch a cheap, fashionable maternity brand, launch pregnancy razors for £5 and by done miracle, invent a wonder pill that can make all these pregnancy symptoms fuck off! Cheers!

Tits & Tiredness

2BC7217F-06EA-4E4B-8A51-FE345FF0CF79.jpegWell! What a difference from last week! Think we deserved some time off and have some enjoyment!! Done loads of things this week- seen family, proper friends, been shopping, chilled out and we watched Jurassic World which is frigging awesome!! Recommend if you haven’t but also take tissues!! 😂😂 We also had a midwife appointment on Tuesday and she checked size of the baby and all the usual tests. She said baby is already in the right position for birth so I don’t think she will be too long from appearing if I’m honest!!! I’m only 32 weeks now but yes I’m huge, she’s big and if she’s already in the right place then who knows!! We’ve been at a birth class today which is why I’m late typing this up haha but now I know when I’m in labour and what to do, also I’ve wrote up my birth plan…no nature bullshit bollocks here haha!! I want every form of pain relief I can get!!!! Oh and I really hate how much pressure they put on you to breastfeed!!!! I personally don’t want to do it. I’m not even interested in giving it a go. Sorry but it’s my preference and my body. You should do what you want to do. My mum didn’t do it with me as she didn’t want to either. It’s like all this being vegan shit. If that’s what you want to do- great, do it! But don’t force your views and what you do onto other people and try and make them feel shit for not doing so! Same as Jehovah’s witnesses. You believe in what you like but please don’t knock on my door to tell me what I should think. Live life how you want! Anyway after the hour of breastfeeding talk, (which by the way, formula feeding wasn’t even mentioned apart from if you’d need to if your baby was premature and underweight….) they were demonstrating how to change a nappy and about sleep time. Obviously with my profession I didn’t need to listen to any of that shit so we left! Was there for 3 hours and I only listened to about an hour of it haha! Sorry but sat in a hot room, listening to stuff I don’t need to know, on a really uncomfortable chair where my back felt like it was going to snap, when I’ve worked with babies for 10 years- I got bored haha! Don’t get me wrong though, I totally get it if you’ve never really been around babies and the midwife was lovely! I had fun bouncing about on a core ball though!! Made me miss the gym!!! Never thought I’d say that hahahahaha! I’m going to buy one now so when I start getting contractions, I can sit on that! I can use it afterwards for sit ups! 🤪

Other than that, this week seriously has been needed. The only thing else I’d say is that I’m knackered today. I think I slept for about two hours last night which is annoying because I changed all the bed, (nothing beats fresh sheets for me) I’d had a bath and washed my hair, the bedroom was nice and cool and I had the fan on but no…sciatica and acid reflux again. Terrible!! I’ve had acid reflux now for 12 hours. I’ve taken gaviscon, rennies and Tesco’s own version and no. Still not going!! I’m sat here half asleep so I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense anywhere lol! I wouldn’t mind but I had another pregnancy massage on Monday but it’s not helped this time. I think it’s because of how big I am! I’ve also been suffering with my right foot. I tore 5 ligaments in my ankle when I was pissed about two years ago, (that’s what happens when you wear massive heels and jump around like a lunatic  to guns n roses 😂) and now I’m bigger and my feet are swelling- it’s like my foot can’t take the pressure so it’s hurting!!! I’ve also had shooting sensations down below which aren’t bloody nice and yesterday- I had a sharp l, pinch like pain in my right nipple! I’m just googling everything lol as not sure on what else to do! All is normal though! I think I’ve been having some Braxton Hicks contractions but it’s been ever so minor period pain for a couple of minutes and then it’s gone for about 5/6ish hours. I can cope with period pain as horrendous as I get them but also you know, doctors thought I had endometriosis and I’d never been given pain relief for them up until last year when they prescribed me mefenamic acid and even then- I still suffer! It’s more when the ‘ring of fire’ or ‘tear’ gets mentioned I die a little inside! 😂😂

Right I’m going to have to get some rest as I’m literally fighting my eyes and I’m not winning! I need sleep!!!! Til next time….