Three times I’ve had to rewrite parts of this blog. Three lol! So here we go…third time lucky! What a nightmare week. Seriously. I’ve had really low blood pressure and was very ill for a good couple of days, I’ve been in hospital, I’ve been non stop vomiting, acid reflux is not getting any better, sciatica is getting worse…I’ve seriously had enough now. I’m drained, stressed, tired, fed up and sick of everything to be quite frank! I know all pregnant ladies get fed up towards the end but I’ve felt like this the entire time and now I’m literally at breaking point! I honestly thought it was all coming to an end earlier this week too as I thought my waters broke! First time this week I’ve actually fucking smiled lol!!! But that soon faded when I realised it wasn’t and it was just piss!! I swear to god though, I was adamant at first it couldn’t have been! I basically was dying for a wee, I must go now every minutes of the day…..so went for a wee, stood up and pulled my knickers up then turned to flush the toilet when it just trickled out! It went down my leg and on the floor so I thought, ‘Great! This is it!!’ But yeah sadly not, just more piss that clearly hadn’t come out whilst sat on the loo! Great! Been getting more and more Braxton Hicks and my lower back is really sore now so I’m genuinely hoping I’m not going to be far off. I’m sick of being ill! Honestly back to vomiting and acid reflux is draining me. Main reason for my low blood pressure because I’m dehydrated!! I have to keep drinking loads! I seem to be wanting cans of coke at the moment! It made me feel sick at first- maybe because of the caffeine, but think my body needs a bit of that haha!
It’s been more the stress which is also taking a massive toll. Every week as your aware, we’ve had some form of shit going on. And I mean that, 34 weeks of pure, solid, shit. I’ve just had enough. I’m really hormonal now- I just want to be on my own with my cats lol! Seriously that’s all I want! People have been so inconsiderate and selfish in regards to me being pregnant. This week for example, we’ve had a spat with the neighbours because they have been parking right over our driveway, blocking our car in. Mark stuck a notice on one of the cars stating that I could go into labour at anytime and we will need to keep the driveway clear due to me needing to get to hospital, which resulting in a neighbour banging on our door telling us to not park on our own drive but in the road if that’s the case!!!!! Honestly never wanted to smack someone in the face so hard in all of my life. I’ve then had several different people saying to me that they hope I have my baby on a certain day as it’s more ‘convenient’ for them! I had one ask me what date we were planning on giving birth so they could book a holiday! I’ve had another saying ‘Can you have a quiet word with baby to come after the 1st July as I get annual leave then’……. honestly let me say, it’s convenient for me that she comes NOW before I kill the next person who comes out with such nonsense! 😂😂😂 HONESTLY!! I’ve looked after children that have been born at 23 weeks. I know people that have been pregnant for 42 weeks, my sister had my niece at 34 weeks!!! There’s no point in a ‘due date’ in my opinion because it’s whenever the fucking baby chooses lol!!!! Whether me, you, the neighbours fucking goldfish like it! Baby will come when she is good and ready whether I like it or not. She wasn’t planned as everyone knows so it’s just a rollercoaster time and I’m stuck on it until it ends! I think the thing that winds me up so much about it is because everyone knows how ill I have been, how much shit we’ve taken- plus there have been many more things that have gone on which I haven’t even mentioned in this blog!!! I’ve had enough and believe me, I’m looking forward to having a bottle of fucking vodka and a whole packet of fags when she’s out! 😂😂😂 So when people want this to go on longer for me but convenient for them pisses me off. End of.
I’ve been told to rest as much as possible now but I can’t really until she’s out because I still have to work! So hard being self employed at a time like this. Most other women get to finish work now or at least soon- and at least get months off once their baby is here. I certainly won’t get that. Not fair really how I get to look after everyone else’s children and won’t get to really enjoy my own baby for a while but unfortunately it’s my job and I don’t know many other parents that get to work from home together and both raising our child. I just wish I could have a decent break. I think all I need is for baby to come out, a little time off to recover and then a massive holiday! Thank god this will be happening but just want it now!! Honestly it’s a miracle this baby is so healthy because low blood pressure topped with stress….I don’t even want to think about it. This is another reason I want her here safe and sound. Oh and another reason- my friend has just had her little boy the other day!!! We were only 4 weeks apart so now I’ve seen pictures of him- I want to meet her now!!! When your sat in Triage for 6 hours and seeing women going into labour and then seeing and hearing loads of newborn babies…I was just sat there wanting to go in and have her even more!!!
COME ON BABY!!!!!!!
A very tired and delusional mummy & daddy!