Haters & Haemorrhoids..

C4124562-0406-4D03-AB58-C9F0C23656F6Grrr signing on here the other day to see some bullshit opinion of what someone else thinks about me and what I’m going through, pisses me right off. I was waiting for some twat to make a comment and normally I’d over look it, but considering it’s about me, my baby and my pregnancy….hell NO!!!! So let me just start off by saying this and then I will never reply to a bullshit comment ever again (although I can’t believe I’m actually even defending myself): 

This blog is about MY pregnancy, body, mind, baby and how I am dealing with it. Think of it as my diary. It is nothing to do with other women who are pregnant or who have sadly suffered a loss or have struggled to conceive. It is all about ME, MY body, MY pregnancy and MY baby. I did say in my bio that if you are easily offended, then you should not read my content- nor if you are not interested in me or my baby then quite frankly- go and fuck yourself. I never intended on getting pregnant at this moment in time in my life. I was on the pill, I’ve got my wedding/honeymoon booked, I look after 7-9 children everyday for 11 hours with NO break…..but at the same time, I am, (we both are) over the moon that me and Mark are having a baby. I’m sorry that I don’t find my pregnancy the most amazing thing in the world- everyone who has been reading my blog posts each week, knows I’ve not had a walk in the park. Also I will point out that I won’t get proper maternity leave, nor get a proper break or a rest because I run my own business and I’m self employed! So yes, working 55 hours a week, whilst sleeping maybe 4 hours a night and being heavily pregnant and ill every single week, is a challenge!!!! Also I’d like to remind you that every woman is different. Plenty of my friends and family, including my own mum, have had miscarriages and still births- some have even struggled to conceive- and they completely understand that I’m going through a hard time and they have seen how shit I’ve been feeling and they aren’t offended by what I say to them, because they know how hard it can be and they know how I’m feeling! Pregnancy isn’t a walk in the park and there will be millions of other women in the same boat as myself. It’s actually nice to hear other women who find it hard because it’s REAL. Infact, I follow loads of bloggers who write the same as me!! I do get the few odd good days, but it’s mainly very hard for me! I could have bullshitted everyone each week by saying how amazing it is and how happy I am everyday,  but I’m not a liar! Yes, I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant at all- but do I love my daughter? Am I glad I’m doing this? The answer is- FUCK YEAH! To troll someone ‘anonymously’ is shit enough as it is but to troll someone pregnant who is already going through something they find REALLY difficult both physically and mentally…is just a twat. Odds are it’s someone that I know and they just feel like sticking their two pence in because they don’t like me…that’s fine- don’t do it ‘anon’, it’s extremely cowardly. I’d think more about you if it wasn’t done in a shit way. Also I will point out that if you actually read what I said about my daughter moving inside me- you would see that my exact words were, ‘I must admit though, now she’s getting bigger- I can really feel her giving it some! It’s like a shark frenzy at times in my belly!! Not going to lie but I don’t like it!!! It makes me jump and find it so annoyingly uncomfortable!!! Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely and reassuring at the same time but sometimes it’s really draining.’          I’ve not said anywhere that I HATE feeling her moving!!!!!!!! All I said was that it makes me jump which I don’t like and it can be uncomfortable SOMETIMES and I’m sorry, but it’s true! The ignorant person who gave me their bullshit opinion, even said themselves it’s uncomfortable but commented on me saying it! Fucking hypocrite! Remember this is the first time I’ve ever experienced this and also, I’ve only just been feeling these big kicks the further on my pregnancy is getting! I’m now used to them and actually, I had a scare this week when I went to the toilet as I’d lost a mountain of blood (luckily from my bum because of haemorrhoids but I absolutely shit myself and got in a right state where I had a panic attack until I laid down on the bed and felt her kick me) so don’t fucking tell me that I hate my baby moving!! Infact- just take your bullshit opinion and shove it up your vagina. I’ve seen other blog posts where people have talked about not wanting their child as it wasn’t the gender they wanted or reasons why they have terminated their pregnancies. Are they aimed at other women? NO!! It is what they are feeling. Is it my place to judge? No. No, it is not as again- it is their life and what they are going through. Like Mark responded back, ‘In other words….stop faking offence stop taking everything personal, your not acting on anyone’s behalf your just a troll online who has very little really compassion to anyone and is a selfish cunt!’

Last but certainly not least, I know my life- scrap that- mine and Mark’s life isn’t just about us anymore. It is a massive life change for both of us. I’ve already fucking changed massively!!! (Not just the bump ha!) I’ve become more organised, I’ve not done anything that could potentially harm my baby e.g have a cigarette or have alcohol. I’ve avoided busy places and nights out because I’m scared someone will bang into me or I’ll fall over- I didn’t even leave the house when it fucking snowed because I normally fall flat on my arse! I’ve not been lying on my back…I was even fucking worried taking antibiotics for my infected wisdom tooth this week!!!!!!! Like I even said in a previous post, I don’t care that I’m taking all this shit now if it means she’s healthy. Let me tell you something else- when my daughter is here, she will be my everything and will come before absolutely everything and everyone and I would fucking die for her!!!! Because of judgemental people like you, other women may be suffering in silence about how they feel through their pregnancy! My blog is an honest, open book, and might actually help someone who is suffering with their pregnancy and feeling the same as me but might feel guilty for feeling like this, because at times, I do myself! I wish I could enjoy this experience!! Not talking about how you feeling however can cause serious mental health issues which are not good for the mother OR the baby! I know this because I myself have been a sufferer of mental health! I’m finding this part the most challenging over everything!!! Any of you who are reading this and may feel depressed, take a look at this article- you aren’t alone. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/mental-health-problems-pregnant/

I think I’ve got everything off my chest apart from the remaining parts of acid reflux maybe! Of course it wouldn’t be a typical Jenna blog post if I didn’t have a rant or bitch about something! 😂 So I’ve now entered the third trimester! I’ve not felt great all week what with my tooth and all this shit, as well as working so much! I’ve not even had a chance to chill out because I’ve had things to do and we also spent all of last weekend, listening to one of our neighbours shouting and the other neighbour was having her whole house ripped apart to be re done as well so it’s been very noisy- can’t forget about all the dogs barking and birds squawking! (someone on our street has a fucking bird aviary in their back garden and one of her parrots got out!) Oh and Marks been really ill this week too! I just broke down yesterday about everything- literally spent 12 hours crying about everything! I’ve had enough now! I think I just need a holiday! Sorry for the long rant but I cannot stand bullying or trolling and I think it’s important to defend yourself. I certainly want my daughter to not take shit from some stupid pricks opinions! Anyway I’m going to go and try to enjoy my weekend now and I’ve off to have my pregnancy massage! 

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