This week has just been annoying if I’m totally honest! I’m fed up, I’m bored, I feel sooooo fat- (I know for the hundredth time I am not) but I’m sorry- I’ve always been a size 8 (UK size) never been any bigger but I’m buying clothes in bigger sizes and even they are getting too small! Problem is however, is that because I’ve not gained weight anywhere else except for my bump- it’s making it almost impossible to shop clothes!!!! I can’t actually freakin’ wait til summer so I can just wear boho jumpsuits and baggy dresses that definitely fit!!! Now I’m getting bigger too- my back is hurting more, sciatica is getting worse and now- I can’t stop bastard itching!!!!! I feel like I’ve got pissing fleas!!!!! I bought some E45 intense recovery and that has definitely helped but oh my god it’s been horrible!!!! My skin is starting to go shite again- just really dry and flaking, especially on my face! Thank god I’ve had another Dermaplanning facial!! When I last had that in January, I’ve had no spots or anything but they are slowly creeping back on my chin now! Oh and I keep getting pins and needles but only in my right hand and up my arm at night. 😩 Acid reflux is also a real bitch! I’m really just fed up this week! Roll on labour 😂😂 I used to be terrified at the thought of it- honestly I really was! But I seriously can’t wait because then I know it’s finally done with!!!!!!! I already love my daughter more than anything and I cannot wait to have her in my arms but I honestly can’t say how glad I will be when this is all over!!! I’ve said it before but seriously- it is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Mentally, physically and emotionally draining!! Mentally I’m finding it really difficult as well because I can’t fucking remember anything!!! People will try and have conversations with me and I either don’t even listen like I’m away with the fairies or I just can’t remember what I’m even talking about haha!!! Just bare with me!
Part of me does however, feel like I’ve only been pregnant 5 minutes but then I also feel like I’ve been pregnant forever!!! I feel like it’s been a bit of a blur since finding out in December, especially as we had a lot going on at the same time, I can’t believe I’m already over halfway through but then when I think about it, I’ll have been pregnant over Christmas, Easter, my birthday, through snow, spring and summer- even Marks birthday in June…. and that feels like bloody forever!!! Everyone is already asking me what I want for my birthday and what I’m doing for it but I honestly don’t know!!! I don’t see the point in looking at stuff for me as I mentioned- clothes for me at the moment are pointless and I have everything that I need- I just want things for her!!!! I can’t say I don’t care about myself and my appearance as I do and I always will do, (just not at the moment whilst I’m pregnant haha) but she’s already far more important than anything else and I’d rather her have everything!! Il treat myself to stuff when I’m not the size of a detached house!
All week I have just been feeling her kicking me and swishing about as well! Especially when I have music on or I’m singing away…probably telling me to shut up haha! The others time are first thing in the morning and then throughout the night of course too! Maybe it’s the beverages and karaoking til 6am before I knew I was pregnant that’s made her a party animal! 😂😂 Mark always asks me if he can have a feel and it makes me laugh! If anyone has the right to just come over and touch my belly it’s him!!! When she’s really giving it some I quickly grab his hand and place it where I can feel her haha! My mums not bloody shy! She just waltzes in and puts her hand on my belly before even saying ‘Hi’ 😂😂 It’s weird when you first feel your baby move! I thought it was just gas at first- I’m farting bloody loads!!! Then on the 20 week scan, all we saw was her blowing loads of bubbles! You can even see her blowing one on the picture! No wonder I’m so gassy! Urgh and they bloody stink as well!!! Sometimes they come in handy though as I had some stupid cow in a shop barge right into me- I had a tight tshirt on so you know, it’s fucking obvious I’m pregnant! I was so annoyed that I wanted to flipping smack her one!!! She didn’t even acknowledge me! So what did I do…let the biggest, stinkiest fart ever slip on out! 😏 That made her keep away from me as far as possible! So lesson for everyone- annoy me and prepare to face a big of eternal stench hahahaha! I have to admit/ I love feeling her kick me and move but I fucking HATE when she kicks my bladder!!! Goes through me!!!!! Especially because I don’t know whether I’m going to end up pissing myself haha!!!!
I suppose though- a positive to this weekend…it’s a long one and I’ve already got a stash of Easter eggs in along with cake mix! I can stuff myself til my heart (and bump’s) content!