I was going to start this blog off whinging and moaning as per usual…. I started the week off with a horrible chest infection which I had to get back on my brown inhaler for and double up on doses. I literally felt horrendous, I was stuck in bed for three days because of how much my body was aching! I couldn’t sleep because I just kept waking up coughing and because I kept coughing up flem, I then started being sick everywhere 😂😂 never ending I tell you! Really struggling to sleep at the moment too- just too hot, too cold, can’t get comfy and every night, I’m waking up at 5am wide awake and then staying awake until 6:30am then going back to sleep 😩
We saw our baby for the first time yesterday!!!! And YES, ONE BABY!!!!!!! I’m not having twins!!!!! WAHOOOO! For some reason, I just feel like I don’t care how much shit I’m going through or how I feel now! Now I’ve seen my baby all healthy and wriggling about all over the bloody show, (no wonder I feel ill lol) I know it’s not about me anymore! And that’s absolutely fine!!! Soooo il have a chat now about everything leading up to this moment!
So as you were aware, in the last post, we’ve had a right nightmare with the hospital and midwife situation but we finally had the appointment and it couldn’t have gone better. I chose St Mary’s hospital in Manchester because I’ve had really awful experiences at Stepping Hill but also, I was born in St Mary’s so it kind of has some significance to me? Not sure why haha but as soon as I walked in there, I knew I made the right decision! It’s so big and clean, reminded me of an airport lounge almost! All the staff were lovely and friendly (I’ve never had this experience at any hospital visit I’ve been to) so instantly my mind was at ease! So as we sat waiting filling out a form, we grabbed a Starbucks so I could get a full enough bladder to wee in a urine sample, did that and sat waiting to be called by the midwife. We were sat there about 10/15 mins when a midwife came out and said ‘Lauren’ then looked confused and went back in so a few people in the waiting area (including us) had a giggle! Mark then said quietly to me, ‘I bet she meant to call you’ and literally as soon as he said that, she came back and said my name so we laughed and I joked to her saying we’d let her off as it’s Monday! So we went into a room and had a big chat about our families medical history and we all just kept laughing at joking with each other which is exactly the kind of midwife we both wanted! We’re both big jokers and don’t take anything too seriously and whilst I’m in labour, I’m sure we’ll be the same then! So after all that I then had my bloods taken which doesn’t bother me, I’m not arsed by needles one bit! Only problem is, my veins disagree with it haha!! Honestly it always takes at least 2/3 attempts in both arms so it then sometimes has to be taken out of my hands 😂 I just have extremely tough skin lol so yes she struggled yesterday and her and Mark were laughing at how strange the blood was coming out (I look away and just completely zone out) but shock horror, she ended up having to go into my other arm! Oh and then I bruise like a bitch!! The thing that then shit me up was, she asked me how far I was so I told her about 13 weeks and she was annoyed for us when we told her about how we’d not been seen etc but then I showed her my bump and she said I looked like I was 20 weeks and wanted a feel on my belly! Me and Mark were like 😳😳😳 WHAT?!?! Then she said ‘oh could it be twins?’ So we said that we had no idea! Yes we had a scan at 6 weeks but I just caught a glimpse!!!!!! So she agreed we needed a scan sooner rather than later and booked it for Thursday this week!
So after all that was done, I was then sat impatiently until it was time to go to my private scan! I was fucking bricking it! ‘What if my baby was unwell because of how ill I have been?’ ‘What if it was twins?’ ‘What if I was further than I though?’ I fucking hate what ifs!!! But I think when you get pregnant, that’s all you can do is think ‘What if?’ So it’s safe to say I was extremely nervous but also a little bit excited! Would this finally feel real? That’s the thing- I just haven’t been able to actually feel like this is happening! I don’t know if that’s because I’ve not seen anything?! I invited my mum along because she’d only mither to see a scan at some point haha! We went early so I could just get out of the house as sitting around was driving me crazy!! But that was then pointless as there was a wait at the place 😂😂 ended up filling in another form and sat about waiting and then finally, me, Mark and my mum all walked in. The guy was so nice who was doing the scan, told us where he had trained and how long he had been doing the job for etc, I then laid down on the bed which the computer was in front of whilst Mark and my mum sat on a sofa. The guy turned the light off and a projector was on the wall so everyone could see everything clearly. He then put the gel on my belly and began to give me the scan. I saw instantly a baby appearing on the screen but because he was pushing on my belly and I needed a wee and I was sooooo fucking nervous, I couldn’t stop laughing! He had to tell me to stop and keep still lol!! As soon as I saw my baby I just sat there in complete utter shock but in an amazing way! I just couldn’t take my eyes off the screen! I didn’t even know anyone else was in the room! I felt Mark stroke my arm and I was just completely zoned out! The baby was just moving round loads and even faced the scanner at one point as if it was looking right at us to say hi! The guy kept zooming in to all the different parts of its body, showing us it’s legs, spine, crown, kidneys and heart and played us it’s heartbeat! We then got to see all the blood flow and he kept saying what a lovely baby it was and that the fluid round it’s neck looked healthy- basically everything with it was perfect!
So we headed home, I’m sat in the car what-sapping my scan pictures to my dad and sister and Marks doing the same and we were all sat in the car in awe of what we’d just seen! Even my mum bless her, she wouldn’t have seen a scan since she was pregnant with me which would be going back nearly 30 years ago, scans were nothing like they are today! So she was amazed! Anyway, we dropped her off at home and grabbed a KFC for us as it was late, got back in ate it and showered and then me and Mark sat there together looking at the scan pictures! Mark starting crying bless him, he was so happy and proud! I’m still just like 😲 hahaha can’t believe it!! There’s a baby, inside me, that’s half of me, half of him! Amazing experience!
Since then it’s hit me I’m going to be a Mum! I’m still shitting myself but honestly, I never thought I’d feel the way I do now about the whole situation!! I know 100% il never do this again but I’m so fucking glad I’m doing it now! I’ve had random cries and loads of stress on my plate and it is without a fucking doubt- the hardest thing I have ever done but I’m content!