No drowing of sorrows!

5D9A2825-ACCE-4C5C-92A6-535BE4590708FINALLY I’m starting to feel more normal!!!! I’ve still got some issues- mainly with constipation and good old haemorrhoids (honest to god, I’m sure my arsehole is like a vineyard- I’m growing a fucking bunch of grapes in there) it’s murder! Literally having a poo in a week and a half and sounding like I’m having a grunt off with Chewbacca as I’m trying to go 😩 I’m still having minor symptoms of headaches, (not migraines thankfully) I’ve had a bit of heartburn- in fact, one night it woke me up and I can’t talk about or look at anything minging (mainly snot) without dry heaving (which I just did even writing that sodding word) 😂😂😂 honestly if there was a competition for dry heaving- I reckon I’d with some form of prize! Marks been pissing himself laughing at me because one minute il just be chatting to him about something and the next I’m running to a sick to potentially spew! I’ve also had a minor bladder infection, the doctor didn’t want to give me antibiotics because it’s better if I try and flush it away myself but as us women are aware, it’s just more fucking irritating rather than anything else! I woke up twice in the night to go for a piss and I really hate doing that- I can never get as comfy as I was and detest being bloody cold! I was literally about to write about the fact my skin is all clear now but I’ve woken up with a giant spot on my chin this morning and that’s now forming another one underneath! Honestly I look like Myra Hindley or a homeless crack addict!

So currently, I’m 12 weeks pregnant (or I like to think of it as roughly a 3rd of the way through) and I’ve been acting like a right little bitch 😂😂 honestly, if I’m not biting peoples heads off, I’m crying! Mark ordered me a surprise cake away and I didn’t know whether to stuff the chocolate dipped strawberries in my mouth or burst out crying! To be fair though I’ve had a really tough time at the moment! My midwife has been shit and hasn’t referred me to the hospital so I’m still waiting for my fucking scan…I’m that impatient for it, I’ve just booked a private one and paid £39 just so I can ease my mind, (I’m seriously dying to know if it’s definitely the one baby I’m having or twins! My mind is telling me it’s one and I don’t know if it’s a boy as I feel like I’m full of testosterone or if it’s a girl and she’s a right stroppy diva 🤬) but ask, it’s going to cock up all of my other fucking midwife appointments! I’ve had to re arrange my hen do as me and my girls are off to Magaluf, but it was booked for the 1st June for a week, which obviously I’d be about 8 months pregnant (can hardy waddle down that fucking strip or tolerate standard British behaviour pregnant and sober) so I spent an hour and a half on the phone to Jet 2 (I now fucking hate Jess Glynn- Hold my Hand as that’s all I fucking heard on repeat whilst il was on bastard hold) where I got hung up on 3 different fucking times, got told a few different choices for double what we paid and when I managed to sort it- I had to pretend to be my friend and they when it came to paying the swap day fee- I had to put on a different voice for myself to pay it on my card 😩😂 oh I’ve also had a few cock ups with good old HMRC so I had to try and sort that out- and on top of this, help my parents through a shit time which I’m not going to talk about….. but it’s safe to say, I’d love a bottle (or three) of prosecco right now and fucking can’t!!!!!

I think that is what I’m finding the hardest- not being able to have a good drink, party and let my hair down and have a good ciggie. I can assure you I’m not an alcoholic lol!!! Everyone keeps telling me to just get the alcohol free stuff so il give that a go at the next social event that’s planned. (Or when I feel like I need a drink lol) So I can’t drink and act like a drunk twat… so what I am trying to do is, enjoy myself by buying Lush bath bombs and sitting in the bath until I look like a raisin! I really want to order one of the shelves that go over the bath so I can watch crap on Netflix or something, whatever whilst I’m chilling! The valentines bath bombs are soooo nice- although Mark is getting frustrated with how many flower petals he keeps having to pull out of the plugs 😂😂 I also have a wax melt fetish at the moment! My smell is definitely heightened and I found the most amazing girl who makes them on Etsy! If you want to check them out then just type in ‘The Scented Wax Co’ on Facebook, etsy or Instagram! Honestly I don’t recommend things unless they are seriously amazing, (I’m not getting paid promo like half of Instagram 🙄) I got the blueberry muffin one, which I lit in my bedroom and I could smell it in my living room and even from outside, the snow fairy Lush dupe which is also as amazing, sticky toffee pudding which I’m going to try later and a unicorn one (looks so pretty with all glitter in) so seriously check them out if wax melts are your thing! I’ve just ordered myself some Epsom salts as I’ve read they are awesome in loads of ways for us pregnant folk and they can help constipation and reduce haemorrhoids 👍🏻👍🏻 il let you know if they work in my next blog 😂😂😂 oh and my skin looks sooooo amazing after the dermaplan facial!! Literally glowing- so I also couldn’t recommend it enough 🙌🏼🙌🏼

Finally…. I’ve just clocked on that I was actually leaving myself subliminal messages about me being pregnant! Il upload the photos so you can see what I mean!

(A ‘babe’ bodysuit I went out in days before I found out which I actually customised myself and check out the gaga one which I proper laughed at!)

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